One Year...

Just realized it's been an entire year since I posted, and I never finished my diary entries. I guess it took me a while to figure out why I stopped, but if anyone cares, I'll try to explain my thinking.

I guess not having a goal going down there is my biggest regret, because I could never gauge how much it changed me coming out. All I know is that I have changed because of it, because of every experience I've had since going and everything I will do in the future. It made me realize that one huge adventure doesn't have to be a culmination of everything I mean to the world. Sure, a trip to Africa is a big deal, but it's just a small part of who I am. The lessons I learned there are forever woven into the lessons I learn every day, and I think when people start to realize Africa is just like the rest of the world, with roads, crops, money, and people, maybe they will be more empathetic. It's easy to isolate a world that's so far away geographically, but in reality, Africa is just as much a part of the globe as North America.

Another reason I stopped writing was because I realized I had some inner troubles I had to work out about Africa. There was part of me that was still coping with culture shock that I didn't care to realize or admit, even to myself. I had to marinate over seeing AK-47s guarding the bathroom and children fetching water in jerry cans that a grown man would struggle to carry. I also wanted to instill these memories in myself before putting them out for the world to see. I think, by returning to my diary entries a year later, I am now able to remember them and appreciate them more than right away.

So what I guess I'm saying is I'm going to start posting again, until my diary is finished. I wonder if anyone will even notice that I've started again. It's ok if they don't--I think this is something I have to finish for myself, regardless of who reads it.